effortless

now

smiling requires an extra effort

but

i'm still thankful joy never leaves me

He

never leaves me

i just wished smiling was effortless

like before

i believe

it will be effortless once again

soon, i hope

don't count, wait. patiently.

untitled (when I saw you)

A charcoal drawing I made for my class. Haven't drawn anything for a while. I miss drawing.

Rise Against's Savior

another quotable quote

But love, I’ve come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bed time. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.
— Nicholas Sparks

Seems like

Seems like every time you think you’ve figured out what something is, it just becomes something else. (Felicity)

---
Tiring tiring day. Sensible words can no longer be produced by my sabaw, drained brain.
Continuously praying for the Ondoy victims..

Crazy

Thank God for a crazy night playing Wii Sports with the family. I wish Tatay will be less shy and play with us next time!

Spending time with my loved ones is priceless.

---

Went to church to practice with my siblings in Christ. Too bad it was raining hard and only a few people were able to come. Nonetheless, I'm still thankful that we're able to pray for each other and for those who were affected by Ondoy.

---

Ended up repainting my nails red. Too bad I got lazy and I just finished painting half of my nails.

Relevant

I thought the Internet was being boring lately. But I found this cool cool site:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/
God. Life. Progressive Culture.

Visit it. Really helpful, relevant articles and blogs and vids.

---

I'm continuously praying for those who have been victims of Ondoy. Let's continue to help them in any way we can.

I just want to share this wonderful song to remind us that despite the hardship we're experiencing now, we have a Big God. :)

Still (Hillsong)

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are god

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

Dirty and happy

This is my first serious attempt to draw a nude woman's torso using charcoal.
I enjoyed our drawing class too much. hahaha.. I think I'm in love with charcoal already.

P.S.
My hands and half of my arms are still black. Can't wait to buy more charcoal sticks and big papers to do more drawings haha.

Fire

Re-blogged from http://littlemiss.tumblr.com/post/189168775/fire

Sometimes, other people’s problems stress me out. Do you think that’s weird? I mean, it hurts me when I see the ones I love hurt and/or struggle. Wouldn’t you feel the same way? I don’t know. I guess I feel helpless and it frustrates me. Sometimes I don’t know when to step in or interfere. Or I question myself if I should even interfere or even care so much in the first place. Is it any of my business? When is it my business? Never? Do I just turn the other cheek and let them continue their self destructive ways and bad behavior? Do I wait until something tragic happens? I mean, when is it okay to step in and say “hey, you’re not okay. don’t do this, don’t do that. you need help. talk to me. i am here for you. why are you doing this to yourself? why are you being this way?” Sometimes I don’t want to interfere at all. But then that makes me feel guilty because it’s as if I’m just standing there, watching them destroy themselves all the while I should be doing something. Or saying something. I do believe no one can save you but yourself. But I also know it doesn’t hurt having people there beside you, helping you along the way. Helping you find your way back to yourself, to what matters, to gaining control of your life, to being happy again. You can’t do it alone, I know that for sure. And I know, I know, I know, I knowwww- everything is easier said than done. I suppose it’s necessary to let people do their own thing. Sometimes people have to make big mistakes more than once before finally learning how wrong and bad that mistake is. It’s frustrating, but what can you do? I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again- People will do whatever they want regardless of what you say and do. It is up to them, not you. It is their life, not yours. That’s kind of hard for me to grasp at times… But I’m slowly letting it sink in. I just hate watching people go down a bad road and feeling like I can’t do one stinkin’ thing about it. But, people make mistakes. We all make mistakes. All the time. Every day. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow. But for some people, they have to make a lot of mistakes- big ones, to finally see clearly. When I see people I love struggle or hear of their problems, I always hope they find their way through it. I know that they can, even if it may take awhile… I still know that they can. They just have to believe and work hard at it. They also must remember that they are never alone, that their loved ones will always be there for them to help them, guide them, and just support them in any way that they can. Because, when you forget that you are loved, even for the slightest moment, your world will feel like hell on earth. It will be unbearable and you will get lost in a dark world. A world that may feel almost impossible to get out of. So, if ever, you feel weak, alone, stressed, frightened, always remember that you are loved and think positively. Because when you get to that point of always being negative, trust me, it will be harder for you to deal with things. And once that happens, all the stress seems to build up and it never seems to stop. I’m totally rambling and getting off topic… But basically, I just wanted to point out that I feel your pain. What hurts you, hurts me. I only hope that in your darkest times, you will be able to see your way out. And if you ever need a hand to help you out, I am always here.

Incomplete

Open publication - Free publishing

Ice cream

Since I love anything chocolate, I tasted this ice cream we bought at a Korean store. So far, this is the most unique ice cream packaging I saw! Once you open the orange wrapper, you'll see the ice cream in a balloon/(fat)longganisa-shaped container. I didn't have a pair of scissors so Auntie Daisy opened it for me with her mighty teeth :) haha. After eating up all the ice cream, all that's left is a small white elastic thingy (which will make you think how the manufacturers were able to fit in a rather generous amount of ice cream inside it!) Such a cool cool idea, even if it looks really weird. hahaha

P.S. The taste's really good. You should buy one!

Framed

Happy happy weekend with the family :) I had the time to shoot some portraits of my love loves with a wooden frame as a prop (just so the photographs will turn out to be different from the usual). The pictures turned out nice :) I hope we can do more shoots in the future.

Beautiful Ending

This song made me want to be closer to God than ever before :) Such an inspiring song!

Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many                  
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
                   
And it scares me to think
That I would choose                     
My life over You 
My selfish heart             
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
               
So tell me 
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
                
Oh, why do I       
Let myself let go                 
Of hands that painted the stars
And hold tears that fall?                    
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget                   
It's not me but You 
Who makes the heart beat                                  
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
                 
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?                   
Will my life 
Find me by Your side? 
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all       
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all      
I wanna be in Your arms  
At the end of it all       
I wanna be in Your arms  
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
                 
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?                
Will my life 
Find me by Your side?
(Cause) Your love is beautiful       
So beautiful

Wonderful Mystery

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. -Psalm 103:12

(This post is from Our Daily Bread.)

...all I can really understand is that I owe unending gratefulness, praise and honor to the One who bore our sin -a mystery of inexpressibly good news. -Mart De Haan

Praise, my soul, the King of heaven,
To His feet thy tribute bring;
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
Evermore His praises sing. -Lyte

When words hit me

My prof was talking about his Fb friend's status:

When you want to give God a laugh, tell Him your plans.

My plans are nothing compared to His wonderful plan for my life. I used to think too much about what I want to do. Do this, do that. I thought that my plans are the best plans for me... I am completely wrong. I don't even know myself completely, so why do I think that what I think will work out just fine (yup, I'm sabaw but I hope you still understand me haha)?

He knows me better than I know myself. And I'm sure that His plan for my life's the best.

P.S.
Just when I thought I've grown up, I'd realize that I need to grow up some more.

Familiarity breeds contempt (for a while?)

I used to think that Milo in the school cafeteria is the best drink in the world. Twice or thrice a week, I promised myself that I would not go home without drinking it. And so I did it for months... up to the point that I got addicted to it. So addicted that I started to dislike it. I know its taste too much. The taste of happiness and contentment, which turned to fatness, greed, selfishness and foolishness. Months passed again. I no longer buy Milo. But I am starting to miss its taste. No longer the taste of fatness, greed, selfishness and foolishness. Its real taste, its Milo-ness.

I miss drinking Milo in the school cafeteria. I want to drink it now. But I can wait 'til tomorrow.

When creative block attacks

I have until tomorrow to pass my write-up for the yearbook. Until now, I can't seem to write a decent paragraph about my college life. Will cramming work this time...? I'm being Lei.. Waaaaah

Aug. 21

Got a new haircut :) My face looks bigger now.. Well, it has always been big hohoho.
(Sorry for the grainy pic, I just used Photobooth.)

----

My parents and Auntie Daisy are back! Praise God for the safe trip :) Praise God for the goodies, too! haha

----

Now, it's time to get serious and start thinking of a nice layout for my 8-page comic. No holiday for me. Mr. Laziness had his time in the past. I should study harder. Yay!

Grad Pic (again)

For my fifth year in college, I decided to sign up for our grad photoshoot. This means another yearbook and another set of grad pics again haha. I just felt like I should post my old creative pic here (while thinking of a more creative pose on my Aug 24 shoot) =) Help me think!

Bye bye bicycle

Laziness and imbalance are having the time of their lives. It's time to give them a punch. One big punch. Kill them and put them in the nearby trash can. Forget them. Move on without them. 'Cause after all, I can gladly live without them. (Why live with them in the first place?)

Craving for Sango Master Burger

I miss eating Sango's Master Burger + Green Tea Milkshake!!! Promise super sarap :)

HOW TO: INSTALL LOVE

from http://timirose.tumblr.com/post/103196710/how-to-install-love
promise, helpful to haha. cute pa!

How to Install LOVE

Tech Support: Hello … how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install
Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you
located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will
eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High
Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and
Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that
normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get
the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error
- Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set
up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the
following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your
Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The
system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but
eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed
and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

So... ano nga ba?

"Ano nga ba ang gusto mo[ng gawin] after college?"

Napaisip ako. Lagi naman ako maraming gustong gawin...

Tumulong (sa family business).
Magtrabaho (sa design studio or publishing house... basta may kinalaman sa graphic design).
Kumita (syempre... nang sapat).
Mag-aral ulit.
Bumalik sa trabaho (syempre, para....
Makagawa ng sariling business.

Career, o career...

Sa dami, hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula. Sa dami, di ko alam kung saan magfofocus. Saan nga ba? Sabi nila, "cherish your passion." Pero ngayon, naisip ko, ang vague yata ng passion ko. Graphic design. Oo, sabi nila, "astig." Pero pag tinanong na about details, dyan tayo mahihirapan, 'pre. Dyan ako mahina.

So pano ba yan? Ano nga ba?

Think.. But don't think too much. Pray. Trust.

It's Your Life

While looking for a "birthday song," I came across Francesca Battistelli's "It's Your Life" from her My Paper Heart album. I just can't stop playing it all over and over and over again. Hahaha.. It seems that the message is really meant for me, especially now that I have to be wiser when it comes to making decisions, choosing what to do and not to do. I choose to grow up. =)

Anyway, here's the lyrics:

This is the moment
It’s on the line
Which way you gonna fall?
In the middle between
Wrong and right
But you know after all

(Chorus)
It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door
It’s your life

Are you who you always said you would be?
With a sinking feeling in your chest
Always waiting for someone else to fix you
Tell me when did you forget

(Chorus)

To live the way that you believe
This is your opportunity
To let your life be one that lights the way

finally, a light in the bulb

Last Wednesday, I came to my class without having any clear idea on what I wanted to do for my thesis in Information Design. My mind just felt tired because of work and my lost ID. Work said, "ASAP." Lost ID said, "Replace me, ASAP." Nagkaroon pa ko ng violation because of my lost ID. OO, nahuli ako ng guard for the second time. Boo stress + pressure + hunger.

But this week, I am thankful that I finally thought of an idea, which I can finally work on for two semesters. I know I will have to spend more and more hours researching and studying. But I believe that this will be worth it.

Pamimilosopiya

Pagsasa-isa't-isa

Ang pagpepresensya ay nagaganap sa alaala, sa isip, sa paglalarawan at sa damdamin. Ngunit mas malalim kaysa sa lahat niyan ang pinanggagalingan. May isang pagbaling, pag-ugnay sa sarili, taos na pagtaya ng sarili. May pagsasakapuwa na nililikha sa mismong pagmemeron ng sarili, na bumabago sa mismong balangkas ng sarili. At hindi lamang pagtungo ng sariling presensya sa kapuwa, kundi pagtanggap rin ng tumutugon na presensyang nanggagaling sa kapuwa.

Tao sa banal

Ang pagsisikap manatiling tapat sa kapuwa ay landas na tigib sa pagkadapa, pagkasira ng loob, mga tentasyon na talikdan ang kapuwa, mga panahon ng dilim na parang lahat ay kahangalan. Sa lahat nito, nakadarama ang nagsisikap, na meron sumasakanya na umuudyok, tumatawag, nagbibigay loob. Nagbibigay loob na mahalaga ang sarili, mahalaga ang kapuwa. Ngunit hindi ito nararanasan sa porma na parang multo. Hindi rin presensya na mahihipo, ngunit presensya pa rin. Mas matibay kaysa sa anomang nadaramang presensya. Kung minsan parang nadaramang hindi nadarama pero tunay na tunay.

- Ferriols, Roque J. SJ. "Pakikipagtagpo sa Banal," mula sa kanyang Pilosopiya ng Relihiyon (Quezon City: Office of Research and Publications, 1995.


Muy interesante.
Pero nakaka-nosebleed.
Que horrror!

Suffocation

Thinking too much suffocates me.

I wish I can just freely express myself.
Translate thoughts into words..
Words into actions..

Help me, God.

Portraiture & missing stuffs, people

Long time, no post.

While waiting for Nanay, I got bored and decided to shoot some portraits of me. Thank God for the nice sun yesterday even if it rained for a bit. I missed taking pictures.. I missed my SLR. I miss writing. I miss doing things for leisure. I miss laughing hard. I miss running. I missed myself. I miss my dear.

I think something's wrong with me lately. Well, there's always something wrong about me. That's why I'm a work in progress. I think too much. I need to chill...

April 7

Since the school year ended, I was not able to exercise... This is bad. I really feel that I'm getting weaker and weaker without good food and exercise. Oh well...

But wait, it's the time of the year!!! Ha? Labo.. Anyway, I wanted to make the most out of my summer vacation. So I better hurry and plan plan plan.. Actually, I think it's already late for me to plan. Summer na eh. Tapos waley pa rin. Uhm, di rin pala waley, my part-time job in Fonterra keeps me busy right now. Pero gusto ko pa gumawa ng ibang bagay.. like enrol myself sa photography workshop or painting classes.

Yay, Lei... You want to do a lot of things.. but time is running out.. and my (financial) resources are limited. What to do, what to do???

So far...

*I just got back from San Agustin, Intramuros with my groupmates for our FA 165.2 final project.
*Hannah and Hanna and I had our Hip Hop Abs session earlier. Yay for our future abs! hahaha
*Hannah and I made a rendition of Cueshe's "Stay." oha oha
*I'm nearly done with my press kit! Thank you Lord! CDs and envelopes na lang, yo!
*I'm halfway done with my Zine... so time to finish it now!
*Okay, this is the last week of our second semester, meaning the last week of my fourth year in college. I'm getting old... But then I have a year left before I finish my majors. Carry ko 'to! =)

Here are some of the photographs I have taken in San Agustin =)

I will have abs.

Yes. If I can have abs, I will have abs... soon! hahaha.

Stress is making me fat. So I need to get physical and spend some time to exercise daily. Yay for healthy food, too! This is it, Lei... hahahaha..

Thankful

Yesterday, February 28, was one of the most memorable days in my college life. My morning did not start so well because I had 9-12 art class and after that, I had to prepare for our final project presentation of CTK41 (our majorest major subject in Comtech). Yay for our final defense.. But I'm thankful that I was able to finish my Comtech subjects already. Another Yay for that. Thank you, Lord!

uhmmm.. fast forward na ng konti.. haha

Come afternoon, I was kind of lazy to attend the awarding of Numina, an inter-collegiate digital arts competition organized by Ateneo ACTM (This year's theme was "Dynamic: Capture Movement"). But then I decided to go to Rockwell with Hanna (thanks Han for coming with me. I really appreciate it =)). I was so happy I decided to join this competition (It was my dream actually.. to join such a competition since I want to be more of an artsy fartsy person.. yay! "Cherish your passion!" haha. I remember telling myself that I should join this contest before I graduate). Having my work exhibited there was already an uber big accomplishment for me. It was nice to see other people's work as well. I think they did a really good job! But surprisingly, I won first place. I was literally shocked and could not believe that the judges called my name. It was overwhelming, considering pa that this was the first time I joined a competition. It was really unexpected, and I nearly cried after receiving the award.

I was in awe, not with myself, but with God's greatness.

Okay. I won't tell every bit of what happened that night. But I just want to express how God wonderfully worked in my life. I always had this insecurity since my childhood. I always thought that I was not good enough, that I could not be better. But then He showed me that I should not be pessimistic. Instead of being insecure, He wants me to be content with myself, just as He is contented with me. He wanted me to be just as I am, and not anyone else. Thank you, Lord, for giving me this realization.

I wanted to talk more about this but I'm at a lost for words right now. hahaha.. Anyway, here's my work =)

My Favorite Song

RULES:
> Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
> For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
> YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
> Tag 20 friends (make me #21 so I can see your results).
> Everyone tagged has to do the same thing. (haha I can't tag people here)
> Have Fun!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Fairytale - Sarah Bareilles

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Too Far Gone - All American-Rejects

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
We Live - Superchick

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You are Holy - Planetshakers

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Stop and Stare - OneRepublic

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Head Over Heels (in this life) - Switchfoot

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Boston Drama - Typecast

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Scientist - Coldplay

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Waiting on the World to Change - John Meyer

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
36 Days - Hawk Nelson

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Dead End haha

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Way Away - Yellowcard

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Narcissist - Hedley

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Angel (Chinese chuva)

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Want You - Gabe Bondoc

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Follow the Son - Hillsong

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
New Way to be Human - Switchfoot

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Under the Sea - Little Mermaid OST

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Love's Recovery - Indigo Girls

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
My Favorite Song - Park Ki Young

Thoughts on Your Thoughts

Have you ever thought about my thoughts? Or have you thought about thinking about my thoughts? Okay. This is sort of complicated. Or I think it should be complicated. Stupidly complicated.

I hate this.

Let's make this clear. I don't hate you. I just want you to consider my thoughts.

Haha. This is stupid. How can you even consider my thoughts if I don't say it out loud. Haha. You might not want to hear this from me. If you just realize.... hahahahahahaha

(another sabaw-yet-kind-of-sensible post)

Giving Your Heart Away

Hi! I think this is worth posting =) so, yeah. enjoy reading!
Article came from here: http://www.briomag.com/briomagazine/soulfood/A0006612.html

Chad felt as though he were the most awkward kid in his entire third-grade class. He was skinny and shy and didn't know quite how to make friends. But with Valentine's day approaching, he announced an idea to his mom. “It's only three days away,” he said. “And I want to make a Valentine for every kid in my class. I'm gonna buy the best stuff I can find. I'll use the money I was saving for new bicycle tires.”

His mom's heart sank, because she was afraid he'd put everything he had into this project and not get much in return. But she didn't want to drain her son of his new- found excitement, so she took him to the store. Chad bought bright red construction paper, colored glitter, paste, markers, stickers and huge envelopes.

During the next couple of days, he spent nearly every waking hour on creating big, beautiful and personalized Valentines for every student in his class. Finally the big day arrived. He was too excited to eat breakfast. He gathered his stash under his arms and headed off to school.

Around 2:30 p.m., his mom decided to bake fresh peanut butter cookies-Chad's favorite-and them ready and warm when he arrived home from school. I know it'll be a tough day for him, she thought. He's worked so hard on these Valentines, and he'll probably only get a handful in return. His heart will be broken.

At 2:50 p.m., she looked out the kitchen window and saw five third-grade boys laughing and showing their Valentines to each other as they walked home. About a hundred yards behind, walked Chad. Alone. His head was down, and his hand clutched one crumpled Valentine.

His head's down, he's walking faster than normal, and he's about to cry, his mom thought. I'll meet him at the door with a plate of his favorite cookies and a glass of cold milk. That will make him feel better.

She opened the front door, and Chad ran right past her. “Mom!” he screamed.

“Honey, I'm right here.”

“Mom,” he said, trying to catch his breath as he spun around. “Mom, there were 32 kids in our class-not counting me-and I made 32 Valentines. I had a Valentine for every single kid. I didn't forget anyone, Mom! I gave each kid a Valenine!”

She glanced at his hand and noticed his only Valentine was a duplicate the teacher had made for the entire class. Chad was so focused on making sure everyone around him got a piece of his heart, he hadn't even noticed he wasn't loved in return.

Tears fell down his mom's face as she prayed, “Oh, Father! Make me more concerned with the needs of others than my own.”

---
Love isn't always easy. Jesus loved, and it cost Him his life. Are you willing to pay the price to love as Jesus loved? If so, you may not be loved in return. But there's not a better idea in the world than to give your heart away. Not just today . . . but every day for the rest of your life. That's right-make loving others part of your lifestyle.

How was your day?

It's already Feb 15. I did not receive a bouquet of flowers, not even a box of chocolates. I never did. Since forever? (oi Lei grabe ka naman hahahaha)

But I think that this year's Valentine's day was the best. FTW talaga =)

I love You! Thanks for making me feel loved without giving too much effort to look "fancy or shiny shimmering splendid." You rock!

Red or White?

A: Stop or Surrender?
B: I think both.
A: Stop and Surrender?
B: Yes.
A: Why?
B: We need to end this.
A: To start another one?
B: Ang kulit mo. Stop AND Surrender nga 'di ba?
A: So? OO. Slow na ako.
B: Don't come up with "another" one. 180 degrees na turn lang ang sagot dyan.
A: Pa'no if I accidentally started a New one?
B: Define "new." There are no accidents when it comes to making choices.
A: "Another one?"
B: Engot.

5-second silence

B: Gets na?
A: I think.
B: Ah, kulang pa.
A: Why do you think kulang pa? "I think so" na nga eh.
B: "I think so" is not enough.

7-second silence

A: You're right. Stop and Surrender. Wala na yung "another one."
B: So, game?
A: Let's.
B: I told you before. Pink, FTW.

A: I want to cry.
B: Then cry.

Feb na

so what? hehe joke..

For the past week, there were lotsa times that I'm in a "pagmumuni-muni" mode. Decisions. Emotions. Life. Tungkol sa lahat ng bagay na iniisip ng mga taong di pa 100% sure sa mga bagay na gusto gawin sa future.

Actually, there are already a lot of things that I am sure of. I'm sure that:
I love graphic design.
I love photography.
I love to help my family in our business.
I love to serve.
I love music.
I love to learn more about IT.
I love to grow as a servant-leader.

Kaya lang, sa dami ng gusto kong gawin sa buhay, di ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula. But then as I am typing now, it's weird that things are getting clearer for me. Maybe it's already clear. Dati pa. Hindi lang ako marunong tumingin. O tinatamad ako tumingin. O ayaw ko tumingin. Shame on me.

I've realized na sa dami-dami ng bagay na love ko, what should matter most is the Love I have for God. Have I thought about my love for Him as much as He has thought about His love for me? Have I done enough to show my love for Him, as much as He has done everything to show His love for me? Shame on me ulit.

I should change. Kaya siguro di pa ko binibigyan ng love life ni Lord (hahahaha fume-Feb ka, Lei) kasi kelangan ko muna ayusin relationship ko with Him.

(Thank You for making me realize these things) =)

is this Love?

Of course not! hahahaha.. But I admire this person =) seems to be wonderful and really talented guy. Btw, his name is Gabe Bondoc pala.

I am weak

Here's the lyrics of Kari Jobe's Pure, one of my favorite songs..

Your love is pure
Your love is precious
Your love is all I need
Your love surrounds me
Your love astounds me
Your love is everything.

I run to you
My heart is weak
I cling to you
Your all I see
It's my hearts desire
To be close to you
Here in your arms
I'll find my strength.

---

I need more courage to face This.
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." - Phil. 4:13

late-night post

(well, not really a late-night since it's already 1:25, which means that it's already morning. haha.. ok, tama na. corny na.)


a lot of things happened since yesterday. thank God Ate May (Ditse's friend =)) gave us free Star City VIP passes and we got to see Dino Island for free, too! bongga! hahaha.. haven't been there since 2007 and I can say that design-wise, Star City is doing a pretty good job. Wala na yung nakakatakot na "creatures" sa entrance hahahaha. Siyempre, the whole trip would not be fun without Ditse and her friends. =)

oh, welcome back Ate Jona and Isayah =)


okay. I really think I should be sleeping now, next time na ulit kwento. good night!

Grad Pics

yay... I have grad pics even if I won't graduate this year =)

messy messy

I need to fix my stuffs...

Good thing my life is not a mess (yung mga gamit ko lang.. haha). That's why I should start cleaning up and be more organized, bago pa mahawa ang life ko.

***

Lord, these past few days, I admit I have been in a lot of troubles. At kelangan ko ng "palo" mo. I am sorry. I really am. I should be a better daughter to You. Continue to change me, for I cannot do this by myself. I need you. I need your love.

Love,
Lei

My eyes are tired

Have you ever felt like you wanted to turn off your computer and get away from it for a loooooong time? But then you can't, because you're required to pass a paper using MS Office or Pages. Because you have to make a press kit using Adobe InDesign, Photoshop or Illustrator. Because you have to Google. Because you have to socialize. Because...

Oh my, we are so overly dependent on technology already... yaiks (i just hope everybody uses it for the better yayay) hahahhahaha

(this is a product of kasabawan. okay. i should be sleeping now)

Self Portrait

i made this for our assignment in class. unfortunately, mali pala hahaha

What does my birthday mean?

I got this from Facebook =) I don't really believe in this kind of stuffy stuff, pero natuwa lang ako i-post hahaha

Based on my birthday (Nov.4)...

You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are cheerful and friendly. Your Love, Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.

How true is this? hahaha

Today

The sun was bright today. But it seems like it had a fight with the clouds. I may not know the reason, but it really shows that they're not in good terms.

Good Morning

yo! good morning! hahahaha.. ang aga nag-strike ng vanity. pero di pala to vanity pics. i just had a happy morning! i hope the rest of the day will be happier =)

(sorry for the low-quality pics, i just used Photobooth)

okay, back to work! =)

Knock me in the head

Lately, I've been procrastinating a lot with my school work. And it doesn't feel good..

Stupid excuses. Why do I always justify my shortcomings with stupid excuses??

Lord, knock me in the head.

I am sorry. I need to change. I will change.

Soon. Now.

a more established goal

(you think we all need to grow old first before we grow up?)

yes. i am convinced.

i need to be more loving.

(extra thought: at 9:30 today, i'll step inside my school again. i have to bring my new self. a better lei. less insecure. more optimistic. less matakaw. more disciplined. less antukin. more passionate. less of lei. more of God.)

Dear Lord

I thank You for giving me freedom, peace of mind, grace, love.
I pray that You will continue to guide me this year.
Teach me to be more prayerful, loving, masipag, disciplined, less insecure, more outgoing.

May You continue to be the center of my life and the reason for my living.

I love You!